You too may be destined to be a housewife...

Do I look unhappy? Bored? Lonely? Poor? Perhaps unfulfilled?

I didnt think this was the case but apparently these must be the unintentional vibes I am sending out. In the last week or so I have been recruited twice by two different employers, and though I am flattered that they clearly see a diamond of an employee in me, I am in fact not looking for a job. In fact it sparked a thought in me that maybe I should be doing the recruiting. I am now on a mission to recruit as many women as I can to becoming housewives (or house husbands, I dont discriminate)!! I have included the minimum requirements below.

Job:
Housewife (Househusband)

Position:
Posted 4/15/09; open indefinitely

Education:
High school Graduate Required (For Heavens Sake you need to be old enough to legally sign your marriage license)
Bachelors Degree Preferred (This will help in your own defense against those who judge you for being "just a housewife", but trust me...its just cuz their jealous)

Requirements:
*Must be self motivated. There aint no boss around here telling you what needs to be done next, you gotta figure that out on your own....or you know, put it off till tomorrow, whose going to know?!?!
*Must be willing to put in long hours, including weekends. You must always be on call for a dish that needs washing or a husband who needs feeding.
*Must be flexible with sleeping schedule. You may need to sleep in a few more hours and then work more quickly to finish everything before the hubby comes home.
*Must be organized. It is imperative to set the tv to autotune so as to not miss the start of the next show.
*Must be a wise investor....in candles that is. This is the key to making it appear as if you have been slaving all day :)!!
*Must blog in order to entertain the rest of the housewives that are at home all day. We have to stick together ladies.
*Must work out daily, its the least we can do for our husbands who spent all day at work. (Yes, walking around the mall does constitute as cardio, if it didnt how could we justify all the time spent there.)
MOST IMPORTANT
*Must be able to separate your work and private lives. For instance, when in public, or on vacation, please refer to him as your husband, not your boss!!

Perks
*Meals paid for daily on the "company credit card"
*Unlimited sick days
*Free wifi, and long distance
*Fully stocked refrigerator at the office
*Can never be fired!!

Compensation
DOE (depends on economy, and how often your "boss" checks the bank statements :)!! )

Any applicants may contact EHarmony, the local church, or the corner supermarket :)!! Come on over to the good side of life.