Tuesday, April 28, 2009

My talent...

So my husband is extremely intelligent, and well good at absolutely everything. He also works with a group of highly trained and unbelievably qualified men. The problem with this however, is that these men married women who share their standard of excellence. Well in comparing myself to these incredible women I began to wonder, how do I stack up?

They have all given their husbands children....welp Im out on that one :)!!

They ALL have boob jobs, no kiddin! And well my chest is as flat as a pancake!!

They are all successful in their jobs which range from finance to a Top Gun instructor, thats right, shes crazy awesome!

They all run, and could run miles of circles around me. That same Top Gun instructor ran until she was 8 months prego.

So to sum it up...they all have the body and the brains...and me...what do I have?

Thats right, MATH!! I am good at math. I bet I could figure percentages faster than any other team wife. Do you suppose department stores hire people to walk around and tell customers what their purchase will cost if it is 35% off?

Thankfully my husband is supportive of my wonderful skills! In fact he let me show off last night in bed....oh yes, I did math problems for him as we discussed the church's budget!!

So if you ever need a math problem figured quickly, you know who to call!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

You too may be destined to be a housewife...

Do I look unhappy? Bored? Lonely? Poor? Perhaps unfulfilled?

I didnt think this was the case but apparently these must be the unintentional vibes I am sending out. In the last week or so I have been recruited twice by two different employers, and though I am flattered that they clearly see a diamond of an employee in me, I am in fact not looking for a job. In fact it sparked a thought in me that maybe I should be doing the recruiting. I am now on a mission to recruit as many women as I can to becoming housewives (or house husbands, I dont discriminate)!! I have included the minimum requirements below.

Housewife (Househusband)

Posted 4/15/09; open indefinitely

High school Graduate Required (For Heavens Sake you need to be old enough to legally sign your marriage license)
Bachelors Degree Preferred (This will help in your own defense against those who judge you for being "just a housewife", but trust me...its just cuz their jealous)

*Must be self motivated. There aint no boss around here telling you what needs to be done next, you gotta figure that out on your own....or you know, put it off till tomorrow, whose going to know?!?!
*Must be willing to put in long hours, including weekends. You must always be on call for a dish that needs washing or a husband who needs feeding.
*Must be flexible with sleeping schedule. You may need to sleep in a few more hours and then work more quickly to finish everything before the hubby comes home.
*Must be organized. It is imperative to set the tv to autotune so as to not miss the start of the next show.
*Must be a wise investor....in candles that is. This is the key to making it appear as if you have been slaving all day :)!!
*Must blog in order to entertain the rest of the housewives that are at home all day. We have to stick together ladies.
*Must work out daily, its the least we can do for our husbands who spent all day at work. (Yes, walking around the mall does constitute as cardio, if it didnt how could we justify all the time spent there.)
*Must be able to separate your work and private lives. For instance, when in public, or on vacation, please refer to him as your husband, not your boss!!

*Meals paid for daily on the "company credit card"
*Unlimited sick days
*Free wifi, and long distance
*Fully stocked refrigerator at the office
*Can never be fired!!

DOE (depends on economy, and how often your "boss" checks the bank statements :)!! )

Any applicants may contact EHarmony, the local church, or the corner supermarket :)!! Come on over to the good side of life.

I love my kitchen...

Ok so we are finally back home after three long months!! Praise God that Aaron has passed his course and we were able to come home with a new addition to our family. It has been so much fun having someone else around the house. Rocky never allows for a dull moment.
But the truth is, the best part of being home is my kitchen. Now, Im not the greatest cook, but the first thing I did when I got home was immediately wash dishes and bake cookies!! I couldnt wait to get everything back in order, and use my mixer again!! (For those of you who dont have one, I strongly recommend buying a kitchen aide mixer....Im not sure how I ever lived a day without it. Also it is imperative to invest in good non stick pans, especially cookie sheets!! Holy Moly you can never have too many!!)
I mean seriously what has happened to me...a year ago you wouldnt have caught me dead in a kitchen on a Saturday, but now, its my absolute favorite place in my house. Apparently, God knew me better than I did when he destined me to be a housewife.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Homecoming Pics...

Ok Natalie, since homecoming mums did make your top five I guess I can share some old homecoming photos. I have only been able to locate one years worth of photos, so here goes...

This is 10th grade homecoming....

Friday, April 10, 2009

You might be getting old if...

The kids who are in college now were born in a different decade than you.

Yeah thats really all I got, but seriously, Holy Moly 90s babies!!

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Flirting leads to babies...

So I am unashamedly obsessed with reality tv. I don't mean I dvr them and catch up when I can, I mean, I never miss an episode. Sometimes I have to send Aaron to bed, and stay up to just to find out who Tyson can make into a supermodel. And of course I don't discriminate, give me a race across the world, a family of too many dang children, or a woman with giant legs, and I am there. However, in devoting so much time, I have been blessed with some really useful information. For instance, just take what I learned today...

First and Foremost...

According to Patty, the Millionaire Matchmaker, who of course knows all things relationship related, a smiley wink text, you know the ; ) is sexual....yes, sexual. So please, in order to not lead to any questionable or sketchy circumstances, lets just keep the smiley wink to ourselves!

That inappropriate "sexting" as they call it leads me right into my next useful bit of information.

For goodness sake ladies, lets learn what it takes to get pregnant, that's right, SEX. I spent the last hour of my life in total shock at apparently the number of grown women who haven't put two and two together. It was a special on women who delivered babies after not knowing they were pregnant. I know this may be an odd place to interject scripture but if childbearing is supposed to be the part of the curse placed on women, it seems hard to believe you could mark it up to anything else.

It may be that I am just good at math, but I see this as basic arithmetic anyone could understand...

man+woman=sex sex+right timing or Gods humor=baby baby+curse=pain (not surprise!)

I don't know, maybe Kristi can shed some light on this for me, but all I'm saying is ladies be careful who you're throwing out smiley winks and nookie too...these may lead to more than you bargained for.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

April "This Month in History"

So staying in this apartment complex may not be a complete loss....I mean we do get handy monthly newsletters. This month they have included an interesting recollection of events that have previously happened in the month of April.
I have posted them for your enjoyment:

1564: Playwright and poet William Shakespeare was born.

1775: On his midnight ride, Paul Revere warned Americans the British were coming.

1789: The oath of office to be the first U.S. president was administered to George Washington. (I wonder why we have now moved it to January? I would have been happy with 4 more months of George W!!)

1800: Library of Congress was established.

1861: The Civil War started when Confederate troops fired on Fort Sumter.

1865: President Abraham Lincoln was assassinated in Ford's Theatre in Washington D.C.

1896: The first Olympic Games of the modern era took place in Athens, Greece.

1912: The luxury liner Titanic struck an iceberg and sunk near Newfoundland.

1917: Following a vote by Congress the United States entered WWI.

1981: The first space shuttle, called Columbia, was launched.

1995: Sandra Day O'Connor became the first female to preside over the Supreme Court.

Ok Natalie...per your request I am introducing my dog.
To clear up the confusion from your blog our first dog was named Rico. Sadly Rico was only with us 4 weeks until he suffered a severe dental injury and was shipped to Dallas for surgery.
Since training couldnt stop for surgery we were forced to get a new dog...insert Rocky!!
Unlike Tug, Rocky does not enjoy sleeping the day away, but CONSTANTLY wants to play :)!! Hes one crazy mad man, but he is sure good for entertainment purposes.
As you can see behind him, there is a kennel that he sleeps in. Recently we moved the kennel from our room in order that we could actually get some sleep. Rocky is a loud sleeper!! He however, has gotten so used to going to the same place to sleep that when Aaron orders him to the kennel he still goes back to our room, and lays down where his kennel used to be....as pictured below. Poor dog, hes cute, but his is a little retarded!! haha

I've also included a picture of him with Aaron on our couch so you can see just how large he is...hes a big ole boy.

Lilypie First Birthday tickers

Lilypie First Birthday tickers